Soda Pop? More Like Fruit Punch!

So, since I misunderstood the rules when creating Soda Popinski, I figured I'd post on here and look for help in making him, since I have a clear vision of what I want him to be.

For those of you I haven't explained it to, Soda Popinski is a character in the Punch Out!! series, and is generally the Russian stereotype (His original name was Vodka Drunkinski, but they had to change it because it was deemed "Too offensive.") His mechanic in the original games was that he was a fast and devastating fighter, able to drop little Mac in just a few punches. However, he was extremely vulnerable to star punches (strong punches the player got by counterattacking), and one usually sent him flying. In the newer games, he is able to drink from his soda to heal himself, and whenever he goes down, or if the player knocks his bottle out of his hands, he goes into a rage, doing 3-5 uppercuts that do massive damage.

So immediately, I made a list of things I wanted to include in my character:
1. I wanted to be a hard hitting melee fighter, using strength as my primary stat.
2. I wanted to use hits with my boxing gloves, instead of a conventional weapon.
3. I wanted his fighting style to be much like the games- he is a hard hitter, who can chain hits together to do tons of damage.
4. I didn't want him to have a particularly high AC, but I wanted him to be able to take a hit.

So my first thought was to do a monk, because their kits are largely focused on unarmed strikes. However, I didn't really find that rage that I always associated with Soda Pop.

My next thought was to go full fighter. I mean, a boxer would be able to make use of tactical maneuvers and such. But still no rage.

Barbarian seemed perfect. Rage, strength based, and able to pull off huge attacks. That being said, I thought that, with 2 hand fighting, you were able to make 2 attacks per attack action. However, this isn't the case, as I learned today.

Stretch came up with a good solution to this- just use a weapon. I mean, it would solve a lot of issues- I wouldn't have to worry about tavern brawler (Since I don't grapple) and I would sacrifice an attack for a bit of extra damage. However, I REALLY want to punch things.

Because Soda Popinski seems like a semi-permanent character (Lander is out of order until we get powerful magic), and since Lander had 2 magic weapons, I propose that Soda Popinski gets a bit of magic himself.

Boxing gloves of Heavy Punches- as you pick up these gloves, you feel as if they are filled with concrete. But Soda popinski doesn't seem to notice, maybe because he's strong enough to lift them, or maybe because he is too stupid to realize they're magical.
-When wearing these gloves, you can make two unarmed strikes at once. This attack does 2d6 Bludg + STR MOD. Note that this damage does not count as damage from a magical weapon.
-These gloves usually weigh 30 pounds each. However, when someone attunes to them, they form to the persons fists, and feel almost weightless.
-These affects only take place when both gloves are worn at the same. Separately, they're normal boxing gloves.

What does this do? Well, it makes Soda Popinski's punches the mechanical equivalent to a Maul, a two handed heavy weapon which is also 2d6 bludg + STR MOD. Since both gloves must be worn to get this effect, it fulfills the two handed requirement, and since both attacks must be taken at the same time, it is only one attack, and thus only adds damage bonuses once. Also, if I am disarmed, and one of the gloves are removed, its as if my entire weapon was taken away, since one glove on its own is useless.

Flavor and story wise? Well, in his back story, he was once the barbarian for another adventuring group, until he was captured by drow and forced to fight in the underdark as a form of entertainment. It would make sense that his group would have a few magic weapons, and since he is used to punching things, it would make sense that he would would have a magic weapon that is related to that, since his previous party would want him to do more damage. Or maybe a drow who had a lot of money bet on him gave him  the gloves to assure his victory? Also, the weight part explains why it is able to do so much damage, since 30 pounds smashing down on your head is really brutal (Plus in the players handbook the maul only weighs 10 pounds, making this a bit of overkill)

And character creation wise? This give me a LOT of freedom. Without having to take a fighting style for two hand fighting, I can focus less on making him a boxer and spend more time on getting traits that fit his personality. For example, I'd love to take a feat other than tavern brawler, since I don't actually use the grapple feat, or improvised weapons. And I also wouldn't have to take a level into fighter, since I wouldn't need two weapon fighting specialty, and can go full barbarian, or even dip into another class if I wanted.

So please DM, do it for the children. And the heavyset Russian men. Especially the heavyset Russian men. Really only for one heavyset Russian Man.

Tl;Dr- I want both my fists to be the mechanical equivalent of a Maul. This fits both the game and my character nicely. Plus if a brass recorder can wreck some demons, can't I use my gloves to do the same thing.

Well his attacks arent really that fast unless hes in a rage or drinks his soda (which may as well have been drugs as they were created in a lab).
Damage wise you could instead have the gloves treat your unarmed strike damage dice as 1/2 your non-monk level equal to a monks progression. Wouldnt gain any other special bonuses like normal monk would. Would still require attunement.

Eh, this is true, unless he's punching with both fists at the same exact time I guess. I was just trying to phrase it in a way that lets the player know this isn't comparable to duel wielding, since both punches are one attack together, and do not do separate damage.

Well "Technically" he never punches with both fist at same time, he was just overly strong (heck you were punching with a base 6-7 damage befor rolling with each single swing during the rage). Based on the wording of the gloves, you want it to be compatible with the "Great Weapon Master" feat and great weapon fighting (as it works "mechanicly" like the maul and a maul is a heavy two handed weapon).

I could be fine with setting a fixed damage to the gloves to make your normal unarmed strike to be potentially better than a monks without spending KI points (2d4+6/8 vs 4d6+12/14). Potential damage is on par with a 6th level monk whos constantly spending ki to attack. But not fine with being able to use other weapon abilities/feats to improve it outside of anything that involves unarmed strikes.

But we could put in another magic item "Flavor wise": "Soda Pop" which could allow you to use the great weapon feat/abilities while under its influence. Could either have it as a potion, or as a bottle which generates the liquid (charges per day). Probably have it last for like 1 min per charge/use. Might be a downside to it (like a level of exhaustion from the over exertion)

One thing I would still really like is the Heavy trait, because I think that the Great Weapon Master Feat would be great for this character (One massive, but inaccurate punch.)

But keep in mind that I get none of the bonuses that monks have. For monks at level 6, they get two attacks (Usually 1d6+4 each), 1 unarmed attack (1d4+4), and the potential to do more damage if they spend a ki point. In the average turn, I'm doing two attacks at 2d6+4 each. At max damage, if I rage and the monk uses a Ki point, the max damage for me is 4d6+12, and the monks max damage is 2d6+2d4+16, so the max damage is the same (36 vs 36 max damage, 26 average damage for monk and 24 average damage for barbarian). That being said, I can do more attacks with that bonus over the course of a combat, so my potential damage is higher, especially if I frenzy (6d6+18, 36 average damage, assuming all 3 attacks hit.)

That being said, as a barbarian, I don't get any of the bonuses that monks get to unarmed strikes. So I can't reflect missiles, use slow fall, get a stunning attack, or get my strikes as magical for overcoming resistances. Also, comparing it to way of the open hand, I don't get to knock opponents to the ground or away from me, or the ability to heal myself. And when I frenzy, I already get a level of exhaustion, which compensates for the obvious increase in damage potential.

Since your looking for pure damage output, it would be better to have another magic item which synergies with the gloves to allow you to use those feats.
Could instead have the "Soda Pop" treat the gloves as having Heavy trait for purposes of feats and abilities. wouldn't need the drawback in the effect of the item then.

Well, the other issue is that, with two hand fighting, the effects of frenzy are completely negated, since you already get an extra attack as a bonus action with two hand fighting. The fists are the equivalent of me buying a maul and calling it "My fists," which allows me to go down path of the berserk without forfeiting anything major. That being said, I do like the thought of the soda having an additional effect, other than just flavoring my rage as "Soda Popinski takes a swig, and then gets to punching," but I think that two magical items, even if one is simply a flavored maul, is more than what a slave would have on him. Plus, Soda Popinski never found his soda.

Actually, unarmed strike is not treated as a light melee weapon so you can not two hand fight with them. It does not have the light type. As unarmed strike composes more than just punches.

Also doesn't mean there isn't another soda pop somewhere. Or if your character actually knows the formula, could have an alchemist make the potion variant of the pop for him.

Nothing to say you cant take a level in barbarian first (for the con based ac) then levels in monk (if you set your stats to multiclass). But then your just an angry little mac then.

Fraking forum ate my reply!

yeah always hit the alignment buttons prior to writing it. Otherwise your reply is in the heading and forum says you didn't write anything. That way you can see where the normal text should start.

Also,

two fighting works, heavy trait does not. I had a lengthy exposition typed out I can explain later.

Ooooo I like the gloves.

Oh man this is much better. When I'm not raging it acts as a shortsword, yet allows me to use frenzy effectively. One question- do I need to take tavern brawler to be proficient in this weapon?

thinks its being treated as a simple weapon. not an improvised one.

I really do like this a lot. Any ideas on the soda, or should that remain a flavor thing?

If you go barbarian then flavor. Otherwise we need to develop a limited uses item.

I'm planning on going barbarian, so flavor works nicely.

One more question- is the bonus damage only work with critical hits, or any attack rolls over 20?

we'll just find a magic flask of everlasting Aged Dwarven Brandy. that will work for flavor.

Only natural 20.